Solar Fling

Have you ever seen a solar eclipse?

The answer should be no

It’s dangerous to make that mistake

Staring directly at cosmic cataclysm occurrence

The sun burns so bright, even the moon couldn’t hope to hide it’s entire expression

The light is said to be so strong it burns through your eyes like window panes to the corneas behind

Until eventually you’re blind to other light around you, as the world seems darker

I pause as i sit in my therapist's office

The hard plastic coated recliner is cracked like the minds of its inhabitants

The instability almost seeping into the interior upholstery

I shift uncomfortably as the chair squeaks like the gears in my mind

I finally admit “I stared at a Solar Eclipse”

I dated one

Spent my free time with a being so bright it’s impossible to look directly at her without some sort of barrier

It was usually substances

Finding herself most settled in bad tasting booze

Smoke screens thrown up with each bowl pack

She had many obstacles between her light and your eyes

Par for the course with cosmic beings

I made the mistake of meeting her at the bottom of each bottle

And rolling with each of her overpacked punches

Until I was so close to her, I forgot to wear my blinders

Stared directly into the sun of her soul and saw the darker core

The scars that hide in plasma faced sunspots and flare ups

As a child, she was courted by apollo

Picked up each morning and carried through the days horizon lines by his will

It took a little while for her to realize toxic relationships look a lot like her mirrored reflection

So she flirted with an overly brave boy who flew close to her light,

He was so blinded he didn’t see his ground fall from beneath him

Her icarus fell to earth, and she learned to hide behind storm clouds

Let depression thunder as flashes of lightning anxiety froze her

She muted herself

Tried to fade out

But stars are meant to supernova

I traded the edges of my iris for the golden ring of her profile so she could see her halo in my eyes

Put her on such a pedestal she was afraid of the drop

Began building ladders to escape routes, i hadn’t been able to see for a long time

She left me with a blindness to the light around me

And a picture perfect permanent imprint of her image burning bright through the darkness I’d begun to see, like an ironic reminder of why you can’t love a solar eclipse