My sister lives next door to me
My whole life she’s been one house away
One phone call
One plea for help or cup of sugar
One barrier
One blockade from this duplex mentality
When we were young, my sister and I fought about landscaping.
Even the smallest things could lend themself to disagreement
Snow fort wars fought on upside down chutes and ladders
as staircases became runways for toboggan fueled aerial attacks
Harnessing frozen water like mortars as packed powder explodes to dust on impact
Hurling rocket propelled ice chunks hidden in innocent snowflake shell
We would build hills higher than arms reach to defend against sibling onslaught
Draw borders down the decks and patios as we competed for size in kingdom
Pretended we were all over the world at once, and in control of it all
Even in adolescent backyard memories, my sister and I have competed.
The competition kept evolving with our ages
Bickering about cardboard disposal and carseat priority
Competing to be right, better, first, fastest, bestest, and brightest.
I built climbing walls to the toeholds she left behind as she progressed through academics with ease
I began living in the dust of her heels and the shadow of her distancing silhouette
Felt myself slipping lower on the rungs of this hamster wheel climbing wall Resenting the heels in my vision each time I looked up to the stars
I never saw her hand stretched out to grab me
Only the one pulling herself above me
I remember the first time I told my neighbor I hated her
The most vile awful mean terrible no good very bad insult I knew existed at the time
She stared unblinking at the anger filled adolescent in front of her
Smiled
paused
And screamed holy hell as she ripped me 8 new ones
It was the first time I saw a crack in the wall we had built
She cared what I thought of her
Tears streamed down her face like lost snow packed memories of winter backyards
When I saw her white flag fly, my neighbor and I made amends with the competition we had finally finished
And the same tears stained her face as she sent me off to college this year
Knowing this winter would be our first with no christmas
No new years
No 21st birthday wishes or snow fort showdowns
No neighbor home
So I shook my head like a snowglobe trying to cloud the image
Video chatted and facebook messaged every other day
My neighbor lives on the other side of the world
And still manages to come home for backyard snow fights
She is all places in the world and controls them
My sister lives next door to me
On the other side of the world
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