CRINGE AT THIS

Have you ever concocted excuses and lies with such ease that speaking truthfully is more the challenge?

Have you ever woven webs of false affirmations that you're okay, as your sobriety and self worth slowly slips down the drain on a daily basis?

I've attempted to analyze in myself in every way possible

From paying to have my head cracked and examined for mental instabilities

To opening veins in an attempt to French kiss the grim reaper, like a promise of what's to come

I've sat at barrel's bottom and can tell you

It's comfortable, but wrong

an almost uneasy lack of pain that hurts more

It's hard to feel how far you've sunk when the bottom  is numbing 

I've been numb long enough that